Permission

When I decided to start a blog, it wasn’t going to be a writing blog.  It was going to be a blog about faeries.  The only problem about that is I write about faeries.  The two go hand and hand in my mind, like chocolate and caramel.  They are fantastic on their own, but put them together and I can’t resist.  I’m a bit embarrassed that I’m only on my second post, I’m already about to blather on and on about writing.

I started writing again back in January of this year.  I decided in May of 2010 it was time for me to start writing again.  It had been too long and I was yearning to do something creative with my life.  I work in an office and that can sometimes choke the life right out of a person.  Like a buffardello, it can perch upon your chest and cause nightmares.

I’ve written roughly 300 pages in the past year on my WIP.  Most of it will need to be scrapped.  I know it’s all a part of the process.  You can’t ignore a craft for 10 or 11 years and expect to be good at it again.  Most of it is crap, but some of it, a few snippets of dialogue and a few paragraphs is description, is really quite good.  No great, but at this stage in the game, I’ll take good.

I’m addicted to writing blogs and writing workshops.  I have a few dozen writing books.  I’ve read thousands of pages on writing in the past year.  I think it has been more of a hindrance than a help at this point and it is stifling my writing process.   

I’m so caught up in making sure the first five pages are great that I keep starting over again.  I worry that I have too many characters or not enough characters.  My characters keep me up most nights.  They want me to tell their stories, but I’m so paralyzed by fear that I can’t.  I am letting them down. 

I sat down yesterday on my lunch break and came up with the following list:

For the 1^st Draft of my WIP, I give myself permission to:

·       Develop all of the characters I want

·       Develop all of the subplots that  I want

·       Write as much back story as I want

·       Write as much or as little description as I want

·       Believe in myself

·       Write Badly

·       Write Brilliantly

I’ve realized that if I can’t let myself do these things, I will never get to the next step—editing.  In the editing process I can make sure the first five pages are dynamite.  I can eliminate characters or subplots that don’t work for the story and maybe use them in another story.  I can cut or add enough back story so that the reader isn’t bogged down.  I can hone and whittle away at my descriptions.  

In order to be perfect, I must first be imperfect.  It really is as simple as that.  And it scares the hell out of me.