Romancing the Phooka

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I’ve decided to sit down and work on Faerie Friday before Friday came and went.  I know.  I’m cutting it close.

You see I do actually spend a fair bit of time thinking about my posts.  I’m not saying that they are masterpieces, but I do take it seriously and I do want to write a great post every time.  I’m finding that my Pixies Don’t Have Wings blog is one the great joys in my life.  So yesterday (I usually write Faerie Friday on Thursday evening) when I found myself lacking both imagination and motivation, I decided that it was best to walk away for a day or so. 

This week’s Faerie Friday post was inspired partly by the illustration of the Phooka by Brian Froud.  I love Froud’s illustrations.  I’ve lost hours flipping through both Faeries and Good Faeries, Bad Faeries.  I spent most of my afternoon fantasizing about this picture.  Not in the I-want-to-have-sex-with kind of way, but in contemplating the haunting loneliness that I was sure I saw in his expression.

My other inspiration for this post is Beauty and the Beast.  It’s is my favorite fairy tale by a mile and I love, love, LOVE the Disney movie.  Time Warner had been advertising it On Demand for over a week now.  I spent the better part of an hour on Sunday trying to find it on the various digital channels.  I almost called Time Warner.  I own the movie on VHS but I knew no matter how I try, I would ever been able to cram a VHS tape into a DVD player.  Alas, I wasn’t going to be able to watch the movie.

As I flipped through the channels tonight trying to find something to watch and lamenting that I couldn’t watch Beauty and the Beast because Time Warner had lied to me, I started thinking about how much writers of Paranormal Romances and Urban Fantasies have romanticized some pretty freaking scary creatures -- Vampires, Werewolves, Zombies.  It’s as if we have taken leave of our good sense.  We want nothing more than to make these monsters misunderstood, tormented creatures that are waiting around for the right person to come along.  Just like Belle and her Beast.  The Beast isn’t really a horrible beast after all once you get to know him.

I am not immune to this.  I have spent the entire month of November writing about a guy that kidnaps, blinds and maims people on the bequest of an insane Faerie Queen.  Talk about a guy in desperate need of redemption.

If I were writing about the Phooka in a romance novel, he would be in fact a lonely man, tormented about what he is and by what he can’t have.  He would be tragic.  He would be misunderstood.  (He would also be fabulously wealthy, hot as hell and a tiger in the sack.  Just saying.)

In reality, the Phooka (also called Phouka, Pooka or Puca) is an Irish shape shifting Faerie and a real shithead.  It takes the form of a goat, pony, horse, bull, dog and even sometimes an eagle.  Like the German Aufnocker I wrote about in October, it takes an unsuspected person for a terrifying ride to only deposit them in a bog or over a cliff or in a well.  And sometimes, like the Aufnocker, it jumps on someone’s back and takes them for a ride.

The Phooka is also known to abduct children, blight crops, commit acts of robbery and spook livestock. 

Not exactly the romantic lead I’m looking for in the novel, but I think I could work with him.  I’d name him Padraig.

P.S. In a YA novel, the Phooka would be the best friend of the heroine and no matter how hard he tried, she would never see him as anything more than a funny looking goat.

Bah Humbug!!!

Faerie Friday is going to be late this week due two different factors 1) Tonight was my office Christmas party, i.e. I had a few glasses of wine and now I’m too sleepy to write a decent post and 2) I’m not sure what I want to write about.

I had a brilliant idea a few months ago when I was contemplating doing Faerie Friday that I should incorporate a monthly theme.  German Faerie Month was okay and I enjoyed Hairy Beastie Month very much.  I have themes planned for almost every month next year, but I don’t know what to do with this December (or next December for that matter.)

I was going to have a Christmas themed December.  I even mentioned it last week.  I was going to use it to combat the general Humbug chip on my shoulder this time of year.  I’m not saying that I don’t like Christmas.  I love the occasional Hallmark/Lifetime Christmas movie.  I make sure to watch A Boyfriend for Christmas every freaking year.  (I haven’t seen it listed yet on any of the channels and I’m starting to panic.)  I cry at the sappy Hallmark commercials.  I give generously to the Salvation Army Bell Ringers and I always get a few gifts for unfortunate kids.  I get teary eyed at the idea of someone being alone this time of year.  It’s sad.  Especially if it is an old person.   I’m tearing up just thinking about it. 

That all being said, I don’t get excited about Christmas lights.  Christmas songs really get on my nerves.  I love giving gifts but I don’t enjoy the pressure of getting just the right one and I don’t want to buy something for someone just to buy something.  I worry about which parents to visit and when.  Should I tip the Orkin man?  Will I slip up this year and let a six year old kid know there is no such thing as Santa Claus?  Am I a horrible person?

The whole freaking thing is exhausting.  

I’m not a Christian so I don’t get all into the birth of Jesus nonsense.  However, I still have fond memories of Grandpa Armstrong reading the story of the first Christmas from the Bible every year at the family’s hymn sing.  He had this wonderful voice that I can hear so clearly in my head.  I am thankful for that memory.

But honestly, I want nothing more than to hide out in my house and write my stories and read the occasional good book from now until spring.

So, yes, I have answered my own question.  I’m a jerk.

So this year, as a Christmas present to myself, I am not going to mention Christmas any further n this blog.  Instead I’m going to do a miscellaneous post each Faerie Friday.  Hopefully, I’ll wake up more refreshed tomorrow and less pissy.  Here’s hoping!

Bwca, Bwca, Bwca!!!!

Welcome to the last week of Hairy Beastie Month!  I know I am two and a half days late.  I blame it on pumpkin pie and sausage stuffing.  (Speaking of sausage, I do realize that the Bwca in the picture above is exposing his boy-parts.  I thought I’d get this out of the way.  Laugh and point at the Naked Bwca. I did.)

The Bwca is a Welsh House Faerie, kind of like the English Brownie with a Boggart twist.  The Brownie is a faerie that helps out around the house.  Not to be confused with young roving-cookie-peddling division of the Girl Scouts.  A Boggart is a poorly behaved house spirit who makes a general nuisance of himself (herself?) 

The Bwca is short, about two to three feet high, with a long nose and long fingers.  He’s described as being shaggy and resides in rural Wales.  He doesn’t like teetotalers or clergy men. (I don’t either to tell you the truth.)  He apparently doesn’t like people with long noses, either.  (I bare no such grudge.)

Bwca’s are mainly known for churning butter.  If anyone has tried to make butter, you know it’s a major time suck and not that much fun.  Bwcas also do other chores around the house like weaving, laundry, and general household drudgery.  He just asks that the hearth be clean and that you leave out a bowl of milk or cream out for him as a reward for a good day’s work. 

Should be simple enough, right?   A simple you-scratch-my-back-I’ll-scratch-your-back arrangement.  If the Bwca is offended or slighted in anyway, he can turn horribly vicious pinching, throwing things, ripping clothes, sharing family secrets, banging loudly on the walls.  There is a popular story about a woman who left a bowl of urine out for the Bwca who did all the dirty work in her house.  The Bwca grabbed the tart by her throat and dragged her around the house, beating the stuffing out of her.     As far as I am concerned, if you leave a stale bowl of urine out for someone as payment, you deserve anything you get!  She had it coming.

Once a Bwca is offended, you get no more work from him.  He sets about to make your life as unpleasant as possible. The only way to get rid of one is the hire a Cunning Man to use iron or holy water to chase the little shit away.

I’d like a Bwca.  I’d ask him to put some clothes on first, but he’d be infinitely useful.  The laundry is piling up after a month of general laziness and NaNoWriMo.  I wonder if he could wrap Christmas presents and clean closets and run the vacuum. 

Speaking of Christmas, next month’s Faerie Friday theme will be creatures associated with Christmas and if I run out of ideas for that, I’ll write about something else.  Did you know in Holland, they used to believe in a mean little “Moorish” boy called the Zwart Piet (or Black Peter) that used to keep track of naughty Dutch children so that they could get punished or carried off to Spain?  I didn’t until recently.  You can’t make this shit up.

Also, next month, I'll be doing my usual Saturday posts again.  Hope to see you then!!!!

If you like milk and sitting by the fire…

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SSHL (Single Scottish Hairy Lass) seeks the company and possible smooches from SMMC (Single Scottish Mythological Creature).  Will gladly share dairy products and farm chores.  Good at cattle herding and animal husbandry.  Don’t judge a book by its cover.  Won’t you come out of the woods and sit by the fire with me?

-- Ad that appeared in the May addition of Faerie Folly Magazine’s, in the “Beltaine is for Lovers” supplement.*

So this is the third week of Hairy Beastie month and the last two beasties have been male.  I thought it was high time for a female.  And do you remember Mr. Urisk from last week?  He still needs a girlfriend.  I think I found just the lady – the Grugach.

I think of the Grugach as the bearded lady of the faerie world.  The Grugach is also called Grogans, Herders, Firesitters and Hairy Ones.  There are both male and female Grugachs, but today, I am going to concentrate on the fairer sex. 

Just because the Grugach is covered in hair doesn’t mean she’s warm. In fact, this heavy-set vixen is always cold.  She will knock upon a crofter’s door and if they let her to warm by the fire, she’ll take care of their cattle and protect them for other creatures that wish to do them harm.  If they are scared by her less than attractive appearance, she might just wreck the place or steal their livestock.  Serves ‘em right!

The Scottish Highlands are the Grugach’s favorite stomping grounds though she can be found in Ireland and the Isle of Man.  I can picture her in my mind walking through pastures cold and alone coming upon a crofters cottage and wondering if they will let her in. 

I think she just might work for the Urisk.  If they had babies, what would we call the baby?  A Grisk or a Urgach?  I like funny looking little bastard myself.

Next week is the last week of Hairy Beastie month.  I’ll be sad to see these guys go, but never fear!  December is just around the corner and I’ll have a new theme for you by then.  I’ll let you know when I figure it out!

*Get it?  Beltaine is May Eve.  You know, former Druidic festival in honor Baal, fire, ritual eating of cake, day when faeries most actively abduct good looking people?  Oh, never mind!

Library of The Buff

My friend Nina suggested that I add a list of research books onto my blog, a quasi bibliography for Pixies Don’t Have Wings.   I had already thought about doing that, but it would require more work than I am willing to do at this time. She suggested that I take a few pictures of my library and post them up.
 

I’m not going to pretend that I’ve read everyone one of these books cover to cover.  I’ve read quite a few of them cover to cover, but there just aren’t enough hours in the day to 1) write 2) blog 3) read for fun 4) Eat, Sleep and Breath 5) go to work (gotta have cash to feed my booking buying addiction) AND to read all of the research materials that I want.  Quite a few of the larger books are dictionaries and I refuse to read those from start to finish.  Some of the books I bought for current projects and some are for future projects.   I like to have what I need when I need it.  I don’t rely on the Internet for my research because frankly, some of it is just plain suspect.

Yes, if you were wondering, this is me procrastinating.  NaNoWriMo is harder than I thought it would be.  I’m not looking for sympathy, but stating a fact.  I’m still under 10,000 words for my project, Working Title: Enlightened.  I hope to catch up in the next week.  I was able to write 3000 words last night with the help of some nice women and #1kin1hr on Twitter.  I love Twitter.

So here we go, a glimpse of the Library of The Buff.  I'm probably the only one that is excited about this.

I work in the third bedroom of my house.  Right now I am sitting cross legged on the futon (a relic from my husband’s old apartment), laptop propped up on a pillow and my back hunched over typing.  Yes, my back is killing me.  I’ll never learn. 

The Seven Days of Halloween prompted me to pull out a few dozen books off my shelves and I didn’t put any of them back.  Not only am I a book hoarder, I’m also a slob as well.  I picked them all off from the floor, under the bed, on my desk and put them on the bed.  This is what it looked like:

Shameful, I know.

Here are so more shots of the books after I put them away.  Pardon the dust.  There’s a lot of it.

Yes, there is an entire book on Gnomes.  I love gnomes.  We have a lovely gnome statue in our front garden I named Jago.  He was a gift from my husband for my birthday.

Close up shot.

Another close up

Some of the other stacks of books

Faeries, Mythology and Italian Witchcraft

Celtic Wisdom, Russian Mythology, Faeries and Norse Myths

Djinns, Faeries and Wicca (I'm not a Wiccan)

Miscellaneous.  Some Norse Mythology, Irish Mythology, Turkish Fairy Tales

Nice Collection of Fairy Tales and Mythology from around the world.

More Miscellaneous books on Celtic Mythology Dictionaries and Faerie Lore

More Witchy Stuff (I stress, I am not a Wiccan or Witch. This is for research purposes only.)

Fiction titles I'd like to review on this blog. Again, not enough hours in the day.

So what are some of your favorite books on Faeries, Witchcraft, Mythology, etc?

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All by Myself

Cue the Bridget Jones Soundtrack  (Just for the record, I own it and love it!)

Lonely SMMC (Scottish Male Mythical Creature) seeks SANTP (Somebody, Anybody, Not Too Picky) to share dairy products and hours of quiet contemplation besides various bodies of water.  Don’t mind my goat legs and horns.  Good at farm work. 

 -- Ad that appeared in April’s addition of the Faerie Folly Magazine, right after the article Faerie Queens: Necessary or Archaic and before the Centerfold photograph, a rather raunchy picture of the Easter Bunny in nothing but his cotton tail.* 

Well, first let me thank you for joining me for the second week of Hairy Beastie month on Pixies Don’t Have Wings. 

Again, YAY for Hairy Beasties!!

This week I am featuring the Urisk.  If you haven’t already figured it out, he’s pictured above. 

The Urisk is a brownie (faerie creature, not dessert) that hales from the Scottish Highlands and can be found by isolated ponds, lakes and streams or strolling through woodland areas.  He is considered a solitary fae, i.e. he lives alone.  He appears as a slight human figure with hairy goat legs (not unlike that of a satyr or a faun) and sports a nice set of horns.   It’s funny how the ugly/misshapen ones often live alone while the pretty ones get to troop, dance and be merry with other pretty ones that troop, dance and are merry.  I somehow don’t see how this is fair.

The Urisk is a friendly creature and seeks out human companionship.  His appearance, however, ensures that most people that cross its path are sufficiently freaked out.  This is especially the case when he appears on a lonely road after dark. It doesn’t help that he gets all excited and chases after women he fancies.  Boy’s gotta learn how to play it cool.

Sometimes the Urisk gets a gig working as a field hand for a farmer.  In return, he received cream and a few scraps of clothing. 

So if we matchmakers, who would we fix the poor Urisk with?  I think I have an idea.  Check back next week for Faerie Friday and I’ll fill you in!

*Yes, my sad attempt at humor.

The Rat Man of Ireland (and Sometimes Scotland)

Today is the first Faerie Friday of Hairy Beastie month.  Yay for Hairy Beasties!  I’ve tried to narrow down the list of a dozen or so Hairy Beasties that I came up with a few weeks ago.  As usual, I fear that I have chosen the wrong ones.  We shall see.

I’m taking a workshop at www.SavvyAuthors.com titled Faeries and Dragons of the Silk Road and Beyond.  As in the case with most of the online workshops I’ve taken, the participants post a little about themselves and why they are taking the class.  In my intro, I stated:

When I try to develop the character, I look at the creature and ask myself this: “If this guy could/would talk to me, what would he/she say?  What would he/she be like at a cocktail party?”

I decided to try that approach with this week’s featured creature: The Fir Darrig

The Fir Darrig (or Fir Dhearga, Fear Dearch, Far Darrig, and I am sure there are other spellings) wouldn’t be the first person you’d notice at the party since he stands somewhere between a foot to two and a half feet in height.  He’s either portrayed as an ugly hairy gnome-like creature or a dirty filthy rat with a bright red hat.*  In this exercise, I’m going with dirty filthy rat because, well, it speaks to me.  He’s an ugly little beast with beady eyes, a rodent snout and a long rat tail.  He’ll lament he’s so ugly from all his years in faerie land.

You’d probably smell the Fir Darrig first before you notice him.  He hangs at the dump and in the sewers. 

You can bet he’s not on the guest list.  He’ll breeze through the front door and go right for the good stuff – the expensive Irish whiskey.  Like many unwanted guests, he’ll laugh harder at his own jokes.  He’ll talk to anyone who will listen and attempt to regale your guests with his adventures of smuggling humans from faerie land.  He’d shake his shillelagh to emphasize his heroicness.

Don’t be fooled the Fir Darrig.  You can’t believe a word he says, but he’s really quite harmless unless you are downwind of him.

What is your favorite Hairy Beastie?  How would you portray them in a book?

*On an aside, I’m not sure what the deal is with faerie creatures with red hats and clothing.  Are they gang colors?  I don’t know.  I must research!